Upsetting the Apple Cart

Change is the only thing that is inevitable in corporate America. The economy is down, consumers are in a panic, and looking at your 401(k) is probably one of the worst things you can do. It's a good time to reflect on business and consider how you can streamline your processes, what you can make better, and overall, clean house.

I like my line of work, I usually like my company, and I enjoy a lot of the people I work with. I struggle with the same office politics that most people do. And fortunately, I have friends in other areas of business whose concerns help assure me that anything I'm dealing with ... they're dealing with something rather similar in their world.

Yesterday, the apple cart was turned over in our department. A sweeping change -- one that was tough for many, unfair for a few -- occurred. Now, organizationally, it is the best thing they've done in a while. It creates a standard consistency, removes opportunity for one-up-manship and responds back to general concerns that the team voiced. After a year of tumultuous change, this upsetting of the cart was perhaps the best move they've made in a while.

Closer to home at the office, there were a couple of other changes. Changes I'm not sure how I feel about yet. Only time will tell, and of course, I have some power of these changes and if I want them to be even deeper. That I'm still pondering. I have a week to make up my mind -- and lots of investigating to do before I make my decision.

Old Ladies On the Bus

I am very grateful for public transit. Sure, sometimes you have to deal with smelly co-passengers (be it body order, alcohol or stale cigarettes -- it's basically a college bar on wheels in that respect.) One of the things I enjoy most about my daily commute is the eaves-dropping on others conversations. Of course, you must be very sly on your approach, because you never want to actually get caught listening in to others.

This morning was a delightful day for conversation. There were three older women who clearly had been loyal users of the 250 for many years. They greeted a variety of the other commuters as they boarded the bus. And not just hellos, but joyful greetings that indicated they'd known each other for years. They'd watched each other's children grow, they shared potluck jell-o recipes, and even their favorite places to get great deals. They were full of life. If I had to put an age on them, I'd guess they were close to their sixties. Women on the verge of retirement, but not quite ready to escape the working world. (Definitely women who will make retirement a party, though!)

After the crumbling of the old 35W bridge, our bus was re-routed to take a different major interstate. Now, in some respects, this was a good change. Our ride was shorter and I was dropped off a lot closer to my building (or at least close enough to get inside a building and take the skyways the rest of the way.) Well, these women had some hot news this morning, they had to tell everyone about how the bus was going to be returning to it's old route and going back on 35W. They had taken it on as their personal duty to make sure everyone was informed. It was cute, as they would call out to their friend five seats away and say "Hey, there Sue -- did you know we're going back on 35W -- a week from next Monday!"

Of course these women knew that they were informing the entire bus, and I think it was to try and crate a small outcry of "No, we can't return to that route, it takes longer!" They then proceeded to go on and rant and rave about how the Transit company really didn't have their act together, where was the communication, only one woman had found out because her bus driver had told her. Well, why wasn't ours telling us?!

It made me wonder if in 30 years, will I be like these women? I don't know, I don't think so. I'm to introverted to want to make sure the rest of the world knows my plight. But it was an enjoyable show for the morning, and probably explains why I've been resisting to just plop in my ear buds and listen to the iPod.

Taking a Big Sigh

Today was one of those days. A day where you just have to let things roll off your back and know that it will be all right. My day started off with a call at 7:15 a.m. with a co-working looking to gather the courage to tell their boss that they needed some support. That being overworked was having a negative impact on all elements of her life.

It progressed to me having to provide feedback to a partner and then, doing the right thing, ask for feedback in return. There were other work elements that peppered throughout the day and left me in a cloud of gray dust, but I knew I had to persevere because it was swimming lessons day and I'd be leaving at 4.

Of course, K just wasn't his usually swimming self tonight, he sort of did the back float, but near the end, just wanted to be held by mommy. Then, when we got home, he devoured his dinner, but still wanted to cuddle, going back and forth between mommy and daddy.

Now, it's quiet, I did a few additional work tasks and I'm coming down from a day of intensity, but also a day where I feel like a got little accomplished. One day, I'll free up enough time to just write, write, write. And then, if I move to Europe and write from there ... well ... I might just be eligible for a Nobel prize. Just maybe.

Oprah Makes Me Cry

I never thought I'd be one to DVR Oprah, but I have to confess that I do. Now, I don't watch every episode, and a lot of times I fast forward through them really quickly. But ... every once in a while, there will be an episode that steals my attention completely.

I had a hard time falling asleep last night, so I decided to go through the DVR queue. There was an episode of Oprah that had something to do with an overwhelmed mother's mistake. It ended up being about a mother who left her two-year-old daughter in the car for over eight hours on a hot August day. (http://www.oprah.com/slideshow/oprahshow/20080902_tows_moms_)

I must admit ... I was bawling and bawling my eyes out. The objective of the show was to give everyone a wake up call and to slow down in their lives. To really savor the moments you have with your children, you partners, each other. It was heartbreaking and devastating. The show was sprinkled with other mothers confessing incidents in their lives. None of them had the same tragic end that the main guest did. Her precious daughter died.

There was an interesting turn in the show when it began to talk about how these mothers needed to reach out to their partners/husbands more. Let them know they need help. I am extremely lucky ... my partner for life is a very caring and loving husband and father. I don't need to ask him to pitch in more or help out once in a while. Why? Because when he signed up for this marriage, he took it as a full partnership from the get-go. And now, as a father, he is an amazing man. Of course, it's not all him. We've made agreements at different stages of our relationship to make sure it always works out. I try to pass on these tips to other women out there. Especially new moms, because I do think that there is a tendency for women to try to take it all on and not want or expect their husbands to do anything. I know many women who will go out, with their husband and children at home. The man will call because a child won't quit crying ... and what does she do? She drops everything to go and "rescue" him. That would never happen in my marriage.

D is just as much a father as I am a mother. He doesn't babysit his child, he parents them. One of the things we are committed to doing for each other is giving each other a free day (or a few hours depending on what's available) where you can just have time for yourself. This might be simply a nap (for me). Or giving D the house to himself on a Sunday afternoon to watch football. We love and cherish our son, so we also enjoy when we get to have one-on-one time with him. And it gives the other partner time to refresh themselves. We split duties equally. Whoever cooks, the other one cleans up. I do laundry, he vacuums. I do bedtimes, he typically gets wake-up duty (on the weekends, it depends on who K calls into this bedroom ... or whichever one of us got to bed a littler earlier the night before).

I don't know if it's because I fell in love with a man who was much older than me, or if it was how he was raised (his father is very much a compassionate man who also believes in equal partnership -- even when he was a senior executive for a major company.) Every day I am grateful for finding him, falling in love and knowing that I am in a good place.

Of course, we have our arguments, and we don't always live a fairytale life. We have to deal with many issues that others deal with (money, traveling, our opinions on each others friends, work issues) but in the end, I think we know it's just us ... our family and that's what matters. So, Oprah, I want to thank you for making me realize, once again, in a waterfall of tears how grateful I am for my husband ... how much I love him (even during moments I might not like him) ... and just how blessed I really am. And of course, I did share all of this with D, too. That's the most important part of loving someone -- telling and showing them you love them.

Important Message

Please take the time to watch this:

http://perezhilton.com/tv/index.php?ptvid=7756ee5463c41