What I Anticipate Future Parent Conferences to Be Like

Teacher: Mr. and Mrs. D, I'd like to talk about your son. He's a very good conversationalist in class. In fact, he never stops talking.

Yes, I anticipate that we will probably hear this from many teachers about both K and O. I'll never forget when K was just a baby and we brought him in for a post-ear infection check up. It wasn't our usual nurse ... and the first thing she said after checking his ear was, "wow, this one's going to be a talker, isn't he." Mind you, this was when all he did was babble and gurgle. But her prediction was right on. K is one of the most articulate, inventive four-year-olds on the block. He loves to talk, just to hear himself talk.

Apparently, this is a genetic trait that runs in the family. O is the same way. The other day, he actually woke me up because he was babbling so much in his crib. No cries of I'm hungry, come feed me. Instead, it was like he was trying to present a rationale for why I should come to him and provide him breakfast. You can already see both the boys trying to make sure they get their voice heard over the other one. It's hilarious, entertaining and I wouldn't change it. I'm just preparing now for what I will probably hear every year for the next 18 years.

A Sip of Italy

For April, my Wine Club explored the regions of Italy. The biggest lesson I took away from the evening: I must get myself to Italy someday. Okay, to be fair, I felt that way before this weekend, but the sips of luxury that presented themselves just cemented the deal. I'll try to be better (or at least more consistent) about getting my Wine Club treats documented. (1 - because then I'll have a record for myself and 2 - I know that many of the Wine Club members want a record, too!)

I realize that I should also explain that at Wine Club, we truly do take the fact that the purpose is to taste multiple wines very seriously. We are tasting these wines, not necessarily gulping the glass. So while we explore seven great wines, the person who brought the bottle is almost bringing the full bottle back home. We literally only pour enough for a couple of sips to get the full taste.

We started our evening with the Campogrande Orvieto. This was a refreshing, semi-sweet white that I think would be splendid on a very hot day when you need a satisfying cool-down. It was crisp and rolled off my tongue with the ease of a brilliant sancerre. It paired well with the cuisine of pizza.

Our second exploration was also a white wine. The Alto Adige Pinot Bianco. This white was splendid with pecorino (but in my world, isn't everything fantastic with that blessed cheese?) Ti was a little more spritely than the first, but again a very pleasant, drinkable glass. The third venture was our first red and probably my favorite treat of the evening. It was the Tarino Salice Salentino Rosso. It's dark purple in the glass could only hint at the very few tannins this fine wine possessed. It was smooth and its short finish made you want to reach for the bottle and try more!The next one was the Cantina Zaccas Montepulciano d'Abruzzo. This had a bright raspberry taste with a bit more hint of tannins. Overall, it had a slightly more tart taste, but again, something you could easily enjoy by a full glass. Because this was the bottle I brought, I've enjoyed another glass since ... and I must confess, it pairs beautiful with blue cheese. (Yes, for dessert, I had blue cheese and a glass of red wine one night ... ah perfection!)Okay, the meatiest of our wines was the Tommasi Viticolteri Rafael Valpolicella. It was excellent with the pecorino and salami, but was the fullest red of the evening with the most tannins. It was a favorite amongst the members who like bolder reds. Next, we enjoyed the Arancio Nero Davola Sicilian. This wine had a hint of tannin as well, but almost came across as a white wine to me in flavor. It paired exceptionally well with the spicy salami that was served. We ended the evening with a Valoplicella Allegrini. This was a very bright, luscious berry delight. it danced off the tongue like a serenade.
Next month, we'll be exploring the flavors of Spain. Next month I host, too, so I'll try to include as much detail as possible. The menu for our Italian exploration including pecorino, salami, three different flat bread pizzas and shortbread cookies. A small Italian feast with some delicious wine!

Overprotective?

I had an interesting chat with a colleague of mine today. We were talking about what it's like being managers and the trials and tribulations this person had experienced their first year as a manager. The conversation went on for a bit and then this person informed me that was "very protective" of my direct reports.

It made me pause for a moment. Am I too protective, or am I just a strong advocate. Let's note that this person informing this was a beneficiary of my being an advocate for them. They are oblivious to how I had to very firmly stand my ground and be a strong advocate during some serious professional decisions. So, I found it somewhat amusing that they would choose to accuse me of standing up for my team and being too protective now.

So ... should a manager be protective of their team? This person informed me that they at first felt that way ... but decided that if their team wouldn't take their own initiative and put themselves out on a limb, they would have to fend for themselves. Well, I do agree with the initiative thing. I like go-getters, people who take control and are accountable for themselves. But I've been in positions where you put yourself out there and your boss lets you take the fall. And it's not great. There are two schools of thought on this. The first, how else will you learn if you don't fend for yourself. The second, as managers, you are there to help navigate obstacles and be there for your team. I think both schools have valid perspectives.

Of course, one thing that I do find very interesting is how many leaders don't feel like they should make any accommodations for their team. How following a template/same course of action is how you are successful. But I do believe that true leaders know that everyone is different and so how you manage people should change to fit that persons need. How you recognize people should adjust to fit that individual. Now, I'm not saying a manager should be a pushover, I believe it's a game of give and take ... I'm just surprised how many people are only takers.

Not by the Hair of My Chinny-Chin-Chin

"What in the world ..." That was what I said yesterday when, upon brushing my chin, I felt a foreign particle. I looked into the mirror only to be utterly defeated. A tiny dark hair had sprouted on my chin. Of course, I didn't realize this until I was already at work. So, I spent the rest of the day trying to put only the nice, hair-free part of my chin toward people.

When I got home, I complained to D. It's nice to know that the tiny drop of Eastern European heritage I have has decided to showcase itself as a growth on my face. After retrieving the culprit from it's home and examining it in disgust for it's length and color ... I lamented to my husband ... "How could you have not seen this yesterday and told me!" This is why I need a magnifying mirror. Then, with his endearing charm ... he commented that maybe it's time I start paying attention to my mustache. WHAT?! So, I freaked and said did I have dark hairs appearing on my upper lip. He sighed and laughed, no, no dark hairs ... but maybe I was getting to that age.

I love my mother dearly, but one thing she did not do while I was growing up was instruct me in the art of womanly grooming. I do feel that I suffered a bit from this in the long run (and it's partially why I'm glad I have boys and a husband who is a great groomer ... that way I won't be held responsible for not instructing my own children in the art of grooming.) So, now until I go out and get my magnifying mirror ... I will be heavily scrutinizing myself in the mirror every morning ... not just looking for deep new lines and wrinkles, but for alien life forms that have decided to grow on my face!

Running Away

I have decided to try to take up running. The initial reason was because I thought it might be a good de-stresser. You always hear runners talk about the rush they get from the endorphins, or how it clears their mind. The side benefits would be a) I get a little healthier and b) I shed the baby tire that has so elegantly circled my gut. It was also a good excuse to get new running shoes (my current pair of shoes were almost 15 years old ... good thing I didn't run in them!!!) See my fancy runners above.

So, today was the second day of my training. I'm doing Podrunners Intervals. So far, so good. The running part is easy, it's the walking that I feel in my body. Clearly, I'm not doing something right. Seeking counsel, I asked a colleague of mine at work who runs multiple marathons a few questions about form. She provided some guidance (and revealed she used to teach a learning to run class, so I know I hit the jackpot.) I've come to the conclusion, I really need to stretch out my calf muscles and feet and ankle muscles better. I'm hoping I can stick to this regime (it's only three days a week). I'd like to be a physically fit person who gets physically fit doing something they like. I didn't think running would be it, but I have to say, I'm finding it more enjoyable then my exercise DVDs at the moment. Maybe it's just the spring weather and the fact that this past winter I was more housebound than normal.

I also think that genetically, I should be predisposed to be a runner. I have an aunt and an uncle who are serious runners (we're talking Boston Marathon-type runners, here). And D was a cross-country runner in high school ... so maybe I inherited his passion for running through the process of osmosis. Ha! I doubt it, but at least for now I can take 45 minutes of my day to do a little run/walk training. It's nine weeks to run a 5k. If I do that successfully, I'll move myself up to the 8K. Then to a 10K. I don't see myself running a marathon any time in the future ... but maybe, just maybe, one day I can get myself convinces to run a half-marathon. My best friend's been doing it for a while, and I have a bunch of friends who can run them in their sleep.

Here's to hitting the pavement and setting my stride!

Spring is in the Air

This has been an amazing weekend. It's like a promise for a bright future. The sun has been bright, the weather just right. Today, my sister and I took the boys to the zoo. Everyone else had the same idea. But it was such a pleasant way to spend a Sunday. Weekends like this almost make the ambivalence and ambiguity I'm dealing with during the week worth it.

K was a typical four-year-old running ahead and then complaining when he couldn't walk anymore. O was wide-eyed when he was awake and just soaking it all in. I think this is going to be an amazing summer. A summer of lots of fun activities and just enjoying family time. I don't know why, but I do think something completely changed in me when I was on leave this last time. I want to make sure I savor every moment that I can. But I also want to make time for myself. That was my gift to D today. Time for himself. I don't know if he quite savored it. His response when we returned was that he'd have had just as good a day if he'd been with us at the zoo. (Which maybe that would be true ... well, I know it would be true ... but I told him, everyone deserves some solo time.)

Here's to an amazing summer.

A Meltdown

I was one of those people again. The ones I swear I'll never be. So, in my quest to try to breastfeed O for at least six months, I have been drinking tea to help the lactation process. There was some great loose leaf tea I drank during my leave, but at work, I needed the more convenient bagged tea solution. I found some at Cub. In fact, my local store carried two brands. One I'd been warned was yucky, so I was glad there was another option.

Last night, I went back to the store to pick up more. First, they relocated their natural teas to the regular tea section. Then, once I got there, I began frantically looking. They still carried both brands of tea ... but neither of their lactation teas. I swear I scanned every box five times. I became nervous, down right to the brink of emotions.

I walked over to the pharmacy section and checked there. Nothing. After 15 minutes ... I finally found someone to help. She curtly told me if I hadn't seen it, it was probably discontinued. I curtly replied, "last week you had two brands of it." She replied, "Wow, surprised they'd both be gone. But if they are not there, I can't help."

I turned and walked away, saying just audibly enough, "thanks for nothing." I'm sure she replied under her breather, "Whatever, *itch."

Fortunately, I took a leap of faith and went to Target during the day today and bought the kind I had been told was not so good. In the end, it doesn't taste bad... It really doesn't taste like much. So I pray that Target will keep on carrying it. At least until the end of the year.

Motherhood and a Little Man

K turned 4 today. His excitement could not be contained this morning when he work up and realized today was his birthday. My heart could explode from the love pounding against its walls. I never knew motherhood could be this fulfilling.

We decided to get K a bike for his birthday (and maybe this will actually get me to start jogging ...) He picked it out on Saturday (we got an amazing deal at Toys 'R Us.) And he wanted to help put it together today. (The woman at the store said we could pay for assembly if we wanted to ... but that it was super easy to assemble and that she'd recommend we just do it ourselves.) And reports, and pictures show, that he is dearly loving his main birthday present (he even got his first bike injury -- a little scrape on the hand.)

So, this morning, after parades of songs: "K is 4 today. Woohoo!", the obligatory new sticker on the height chart: "whoa, did you really grow 4 inches in the last year?", and the first pics of him as a 4-year-old, with the signature smile nonetheless .. I said to D "Can I give him his little presents this morning?"

D replied, "Um, sure ... well ... I gave him one yesterday." This is the man who told his son last night that he needed to be patient because it was his mommy's birthday and he'd get his gifts tomorrow. Seriously, if my child is spoiled, it's not my doing.

Tonight, we did his hand print in the plaster ... his big, little hand. And then we capped it off with some delicious cupcakes. He also gets to watch a movie and stay up a little later than normal. It's a fairly excellent birthday, according to him.

Another Day Older

But this day makes me have to select a different number when asked my age.

Home on the Streets

Last week as I was walking into work, I almost stepped on a man. He was sleeping on the corner of Nicollet and 10th street. Sprawled out next to the newspaper dispensers with a trench coat thrown on top of him as a blanket. This morning, another man had turned a small nook in the side of a building into his makeshift bedroom. The recent downfall of the economy in the past two years added to the number of homeless on the street. People who previously would’ve never imagined themselves without an address, now soldiers of the street.

I used to wonder why anyone who was homeless would stay in Minnesota, where the winters are bitter and cold. Of course, when I got older, I realized that we had a better welfare system, shelters and assistance than many other states. Knowing this makes the chance of having to battle a painful winter somewhat bearable for some I imagine. I hope one day, we can conquer poverty and all the evils that surround it.

My Everythings

My life has turned out very differently from what I envisioned when I was younger. Yes, I had romantic fantasies of being a starving writer living in a SoHo loft, dressed in black with my starving artist lover, without much cares against the world. (Clearly, this was before I was educated on exactly what the cost of living in New York really is, and that for this fantasy to be a reality, the loft would probably have eight additional roommates.)

Instead ... I'm married, living in the suburbs with two kids. And I wouldn't change a thing. (Okay, I would change having a mortgage for a house in the suburbs ... but that's mostly due to the unfortunate timing of when we purchased our house and the housing marketing deciding to tank.)

Being married is splendid. We have our ups, we have our downs. But most importantly, we have each other. It's nice to have someone that you can share all your fears, dreams and quirky traits with. Knowing that I have that warm body next to me at night, that person who's concerned with my own well-being and happiness, it gives me strength to go on those days that I'd rather just stay curled in bed and shut out the world.

Those boys. Oh, those boys. I never thought I'd have kids and now, I can't believe how crazy I was not to have always wanted this immense joy in my life. Their smiles and laughter are the most exhilarating things . Being a mother is the best job I could've ever hoped for - the dream job I was completely unaware of until I stepped into it. My heart explodes with all the love, joy, pain, hope and every other emotion my three everythings give me. I do count myself to be very blessed because, while my romantic fantasy of my future didn't turn out ... what I did get was even better.