My life has turned out very differently from what I envisioned when I was younger. Yes, I had romantic fantasies of being a starving writer living in a SoHo loft, dressed in black with my starving artist lover, without much cares against the world. (Clearly, this was before I was educated on exactly what the cost of living in New York really is, and that for this fantasy to be a reality, the loft would probably have eight additional roommates.)
Instead ... I'm married, living in the suburbs with two kids. And I wouldn't change a thing. (Okay, I would change having a mortgage for a house in the suburbs ... but that's mostly due to the unfortunate timing of when we purchased our house and the housing marketing deciding to tank.)
Being married is splendid. We have our ups, we have our downs. But most importantly, we have each other. It's nice to have someone that you can share all your fears, dreams and quirky traits with. Knowing that I have that warm body next to me at night, that person who's concerned with my own well-being and happiness, it gives me strength to go on those days that I'd rather just stay curled in bed and shut out the world.
Those boys. Oh, those boys. I never thought I'd have kids and now, I can't believe how crazy I was not to have always wanted this immense joy in my life. Their smiles and laughter are the most exhilarating things . Being a mother is the best job I could've ever hoped for - the dream job I was completely unaware of until I stepped into it. My heart explodes with all the love, joy, pain, hope and every other emotion my three everythings give me. I do count myself to be very blessed because, while my romantic fantasy of my future didn't turn out ... what I did get was even better.
1 comment:
Ok... This entry counters your terrifying birth story and makes me excited for the arrival of my little boy (although I am still very worried about how he is going to "get out" in 6 weeks)!
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