Big Goals

I've got a lot of big goals in front of me right now. Some professional, some personal. One of those goals is shedding 60 - 70 lbs. Yes, you read that correctly. I'm 15 lbs down toward that goal, but that means I still have quite the journey to go. There are a lot of reasons I have this goal in front of me - some personal, some professional.

Personal. My sister is getting married this fall. And the reality of what I will be wearing at this event:

So, that is reason one for my goal. And let me reassure you that my goal will keep me within the "safe weight" guidelines for my height based on whomever it is that makes those guidelines. In fact, I believe that my goal will still give me room to lose another 10 lbs if I were so inclined.

Professional. This one is tougher, because I'd like to think that my professional future is based on my professional merits. The fact that I can develop great strategies, ask the right question, bring new ideas to the table ... but the reality is ... frankly, people make first impressions based on what you look like. And in the Big Company, there is definitely a correlation between someone's whole brand and their career path. And part of your brand is your outward appearance. Unfortunately, I'm not able to go out and buy a whole new designer label wardrobe, afford to get manicures or my hair highlighted on a regular basis. So what I can control is my weight. And while leadership will deny that personal appearance matters ... unfortunately the facts speak louder than the fluff. In fact, when discussing our recent reorg and changes in leadership, a friend of mine explained to another friend how it was not a surprise someone was put in their position because they perfectly "fit the mold."

Then it clicked. I totally understand those afflicted with eating disorders. Because, it's like by controlling what I eat, by losing the weight, I sort of feel like I am controlling my whole future. But I know I'm not. I know there are so many other things that will influence my path, my journey in life ... yet, I get why people become ill with anorexia and bulimia. The knowledge that you can have complete control results in complete loss of control. I think it's also why tormented celebrities become even more tormented and throw everything away.

So, by watching my calorie intake and amping up the physical activity, I'm attempting to lose the poundage the healthy way: 1 -2 lbs a week. Because ultimately, I want to be healthier and carrying around this much unhealthy weight is not good. And because I've had gestational diabetes, I'm always at a higher risk for Type II, so eliminating the fat will just help lower my risks. So attempting to do this in a slow and measured way will help ensure that it's sustainable. But damn ... it's going to be a long journey.