If you want to feel every emotion humanly possible, become a parent. (Be it a parent of a child or pet.) There are moments when you will feel so much love you think your heart will burst, and there are times when you will feel such worry, concern and fear that you think your heart will break.
K had surgery this morning to remove a cyst from his wrist. I have to give D a lot of credit, I think he mentally helped prepare K so that he would be as at ease as possible. I've also learned that my son's defense mechanism is humor and silliness - because that is what exuded most of the time. There was only one moment where he let me know that he was scared, but then he quickly switched back to his silly ways.
The hardest part for me was watching him be put under general anesthesia ... I held it together while I was with him, but my heart was aching so severely I wanted to cry. It's so hard watching your baby be surrounded by medical professionals. And then, as his eyes closed, I kissed him on the check and then was quickly escorted out of the operating room. The next two hours were spent just sitting in the waiting room ... waiting ... I don't know if it could get more agonizing.
Of course, my story wouldn't be complete if I didn't take a short break to mention the very talkative, perhaps slightly crazy woman who chose to talk to me. She had just received reassuring news about their family member in the hospital, and apparently O flashed her a smile. She then went on and on about how he must have just seen the stress leave her body at the news and how he made her day. Then she looked at O, looked at D, looked at me and asked how it was possible that he looked like both of us. (I didn't feel it was appropriate to go into the whole when two people love each other spiel, so I just smiled and said he was a good blend of us both.) The women then proceeded to tell me how "blended" babies are always the prettiest and asked about D's ethnicity. (I'd like to point out this woman was African American, and I always find people who are not Caucasian much more willing to talk about ethnicity in general.) She then talked my ear off for another ten minutes. During these ten minutes, D had snuck O out and they went to a playroom. I texted my husband that I wasn't thrilled he left me, and he told me I needed to own my own behaviors and my willingness to talk to strangers.
Post-surgery K was good, it was hard to see him suffer with the pain that he initially felt coming out of the anesthesia ... he was suffering a bit. But as a family we have a high tolerance of pain, so D and I determined we actually think it was him seeing the bandage on his hand that hurt more than anything. The nurse offered us Tylenol or Codeine. We decided to try the Tylenol first -- it took a bit to affect K, and I think she thought we were cruel to make him suffer and not give him the stronger stuff. (However, now that it's been more than six hours and he's not complaining about any pain, I think we definitely made the right decision.)
And yes, now other than the big red bandage on his arm, the guy is acting like the K we know and love. He's got to sit out recess, gym and football for at least two weeks, which will be a bummer for him (and I kind of love that his football pictures will have him wearing the big bandage ...) but I am just glad that the cyst was a ganglion as the doctor thought. (Of course, I am also grateful that they automatically send them to pathology just to make sure, and will let us know if anything abnormal is found.)
I also want to make sure I give kudos to Gillette's Children's Speciality Hospital. The hospital was great from a communication standpoint, you can sit and watch the progress of the surgery via symbols on a screen in the waiting room, they page you during the surgery to give you progress reports. It's a children's hospital, so clearly they understand their patients are the most precious packages in the world. And I hope, other than K's post-op check-up that, God willing, we don't have to ever visit there again.
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