When The Signs Are Loud and Clear

I've been reading a lot of good books lately. But there's been this weird theme in them. I don't know if it's intentional and my sub-conscious is just picking out this book. Or, maybe it's because the authors are recommending each other. The theme: they tend to be about people whose lives get shaken, they think the world is over ... and in the end they find out what life is really about and discover true happiness. Okay, it's a pretty formulaic storyline, so maybe that's why I feel like everything is shouting at me.

I get it. Now, I just have to go out and find it. I will. I think I'm getting closer to deciding what it is that will make me truly happy. (Okay, we all know it would be a call from Gail Simmons saying that she needs to train her replacement and she somehow heard about me and I was selected.)

On a more delightful note ...

Wedding #2 of 2010 has been attended - so we're  not quite to the halfway mark (we have five this year!). But it's been good to see how differently people are celebrating their love. This one was at a lovely park in Duluth, MN. The weather for the ceremony was perfect. The bride was stunning. The boys were on the best behavior. In all, it was great. K did a lot of dancing when no one else was on the floor. O humored me and let me dance with him for a song. Here's to love!

Squeezing the Essence of Summer

What is it about August? It's like everyone is scrambling to squeeze every last drop of summer that they can during this month. Is it the dread of schools starting? The anticipation of leaves changing color and ... it beautifully entering autumn/fall (which is my favorite season, and so for me we cannot usher it in fast enough??)

I am amazed by the own craziness of my calendar this month. Every single weekend I think we have something booked. Heck, even our weeknights are peppered with important errands to here or there. But I know it's not just us. Everyone I talk to is consumed with getting in family vacations, county and state fair excursions, pool and beach time. And your work days are crazy because people are trying to condense meetings into smaller allotments so they can skedaddle out faster and still appreciate the longer days. But we are all noticing that the days are definitely getting shorter. In fact, I was surprised by how "dark" I found it to be this morning when I got up.

So, here's to summer. While I'm not a fan of the heat, and I really hate to sweat ... I will try to appreciate you for one more month.

Ah ... Vacation

There is something positively rejuvenating about vacation. I'm not sure if it's this "suspended in time from reality" thing where you just focus on the immediate around you or ... maybe it's the severed distance from things like your email, telephone, or local hubbub. Whatever it is ... it's a very essential element to overall happiness. At least, that is what I believe. Whether it's a long weekend or a week, I think D and I have learned that we need to have at least one of these vacations a year. (Funding these vacations will probably determine which type of vacation it is.)

We just returned from a trip to Pennsylvania to visit D's sister and her family. It was every one's first trip to PA. They live about an hour out of Harrisburg, so we weren't venturing to Philly or Pittsburgh. Instead we got to view the Blue Mountains and see lots of stone work and it was AMAZING. K had so much fun playing with his cousins (one is a year older than him and the other is four years older) and we of course tailored our activities to fun family events.

These events included making our very own chocolate bars at Chocolate World in Hershey, PA. And I just have to pause a moment as I remember my chocolate peanut butter milkshake. I don't want to think about how many calories or fat this treat cost me ... I just want to think about how unbelievably delicious it was. It was like a liquid, smooth, creamy Reese's Peanut Butter Cup - which is perhaps the world's most perfect candy. Seriously, this place shouldn't be called Chocolate World ... it should be called Chocolate Heaven.

We also went to a place called Lake Tobias where we went on an animal safari and fed animals from around the world from the safety of a topless bus. I had the pleasure of a Texas Longhorn slurping all over my arm. Not the sexiest thing in the world, but pretty darn cool nonetheless.

We also spent lots of quality time in the pool and just soaking up the sun. We couldn't have asked for more perfect weather. The forecast had occasionally teased rain, but it didn't happen until the morning that we were driving to the airport heading back home. The best part of the whole trip though was just relaxing and conversing with family. We went our own pace, waking up around 9:30 (which, I realize with the time change, was only 8:30 for us) having a leisurely breakfast and then just going as the day carried us. Not a lot of pressure, just fun. And that is what makes a vacation so important. I feel much more rejuvenated and ready to return to the grind. Of course, as an added bonus to myself, I took two additional days off so I could get all the little home tasks that I would normally do on the weekend done before returning to work. (Because an oil change is so much fun.)

Here's to the next vacation!

Big Goals

I've got a lot of big goals in front of me right now. Some professional, some personal. One of those goals is shedding 60 - 70 lbs. Yes, you read that correctly. I'm 15 lbs down toward that goal, but that means I still have quite the journey to go. There are a lot of reasons I have this goal in front of me - some personal, some professional.

Personal. My sister is getting married this fall. And the reality of what I will be wearing at this event:

So, that is reason one for my goal. And let me reassure you that my goal will keep me within the "safe weight" guidelines for my height based on whomever it is that makes those guidelines. In fact, I believe that my goal will still give me room to lose another 10 lbs if I were so inclined.

Professional. This one is tougher, because I'd like to think that my professional future is based on my professional merits. The fact that I can develop great strategies, ask the right question, bring new ideas to the table ... but the reality is ... frankly, people make first impressions based on what you look like. And in the Big Company, there is definitely a correlation between someone's whole brand and their career path. And part of your brand is your outward appearance. Unfortunately, I'm not able to go out and buy a whole new designer label wardrobe, afford to get manicures or my hair highlighted on a regular basis. So what I can control is my weight. And while leadership will deny that personal appearance matters ... unfortunately the facts speak louder than the fluff. In fact, when discussing our recent reorg and changes in leadership, a friend of mine explained to another friend how it was not a surprise someone was put in their position because they perfectly "fit the mold."

Then it clicked. I totally understand those afflicted with eating disorders. Because, it's like by controlling what I eat, by losing the weight, I sort of feel like I am controlling my whole future. But I know I'm not. I know there are so many other things that will influence my path, my journey in life ... yet, I get why people become ill with anorexia and bulimia. The knowledge that you can have complete control results in complete loss of control. I think it's also why tormented celebrities become even more tormented and throw everything away.

So, by watching my calorie intake and amping up the physical activity, I'm attempting to lose the poundage the healthy way: 1 -2 lbs a week. Because ultimately, I want to be healthier and carrying around this much unhealthy weight is not good. And because I've had gestational diabetes, I'm always at a higher risk for Type II, so eliminating the fat will just help lower my risks. So attempting to do this in a slow and measured way will help ensure that it's sustainable. But damn ... it's going to be a long journey.

Too Many Meetings

That's all my life is right now. Meeting after meeting after meeting. I don't have time to eat, breathe, run to the bathroom. It's crazy. And due to my lack of post, I clearly don't have time to blog!!