Anxiety Hit Me Walking Through the Skyways

So, yesterday was my first official day back at work. So, from the comfort of my home office, I filtered through emails and tried to organize my calendar. I got 2 percent of what I needed to do accomplished.

Today was my first day in the office. O decided he was hungry at 4 a.m., so sticking to my plan, after feeding him, I proceeded to go work out and then get ready for the day... Somehow, I still didn't get out the door until 6:30. Part of this was because my car, which hasn't been driven in 12 weeks needed a jump start. Fortunately, D was awake, because he thought O was hungry (because he was making just a little bit of noise.) After convincing him that O wasn't hungry, just awake and wanting to play, he at least made me some coffee to help fuel the rest of my day.

As I walked through the skyways to get to my office building ... I think I had an anxiety attack. My palms started to sweat and I got a little short of breath. Now, maybe it was just that I walked half a mile in the skyways carrying about 200 lbs of crap. But in reality, it probably was an anxiety attack. A lots changed while I've been out, but a lot of things that should have changed haven't. So, it was definitely fear of what am I walking back into.

So, it was a unique day to be the first one back in the office. It's our big spring meeting where the executives set up the vision for the year and it's sprinkled with entertainment (like Michael Buble, Nick Jonas, Norah Jones, Lady Antebellum and Pearl Jam (yep, they played at a corporate event)). It was also my first day realizing I would have to vie for time in the lactation room. Apparently a million women are lactating and we all want to pump at the same time. I actually had to wait in line. I couldn't believe it. I'm going to attribute this to the fact that everyone was trying to pump before the meeting started. Then at the meeting (which was held at a major sports center) I had to pump in a suite with another woman, because the lactation room there was full. Seriously ... I'm not shy and they are just boobs, but pumping with a complete stranger ... not the most comfortable thing I've ever done.

Now, I'm ready to crash, but I have to get everything set up for tomorrow. I was never one to pick out my outfits the night before ... but I think I'm going to have to if I want to survive until O and I get on a consistent schedule.