The Joy of Breastfeeding

Having a baby is perhaps the greatest experience (sans the whole pain of labor thing). However, it is also the one sure way to throw all modesty out the door. With my first pregnancy, my son K was able to room with us after delivery. My new son O is spending his first days in the NICU. What does this mean? I get to share my breastfeeding trials and triumphs with many people.

First, let's point out that my precious little bundle is only five pounds. He's a tiny peanut, who clutches at my heartstrings every minute. And he's of course connected to a bunch of wires and tubing, which can only be extremely irritating to him when I try to force upon him a food source that's twice the size of his head. I'm a huge advocate of breastfeeding, but I also completely understand why women don't do it, can't do it or try and then switch to the bottle. Having other people watch you in this most intimate moment with your child is an opportunity ripe with self-criticism.

And of course, with a premature baby, it's even harder. You desperately need him to eat, proving that he can sustain himself and thrive at home. O isn't quite there yet, he sucks for a little bit, but it's more a tease. "Hey, ma, I can do it ... but man ... it's a lot of work and this feeding tube is much easier." D and I have been taking turns trying to get him to feed. D with bottles of breast milk and then three hours later (or before) me trying to get him to latch and suck and then feeding him a bottle.

Everyone has their own tips and tricks, too. So with each new nurse or lactation consulted who is around, they suggest different ideas to help try to get him to eat more. I appreciate that he has such a supportive cheering section, but I always wonder if he and I could just sit together for a while and talk it out, maybe I could coax him into it? Wishful thinking?

The other important thing I've learned with this recent delivery is that my chances for post-partum depression are higher than normal due to the following factors: earlier than expected delivery, baby in the NICU, and having gestational diabetes ... oh and the stress of the holidays. The only thing I didn't get is the surprise c-section (apparently, you have a 40% chance of ppd if have one.) So, I'm thinking that I will leverage the cathartic experience of blogging to help me keep sane. And of course, it's lots of fun to give updates on the family and the whole experience of now raising two young men!