Friday, July 23, 2010

Big Goals

I've got a lot of big goals in front of me right now. Some professional, some personal. One of those goals is shedding 60 - 70 lbs. Yes, you read that correctly. I'm 15 lbs down toward that goal, but that means I still have quite the journey to go. There are a lot of reasons I have this goal in front of me - some personal, some professional.

Personal. My sister is getting married this fall. And the reality of what I will be wearing at this event:
So, that is reason one for my goal. And let me reassure you that my goal will keep me within the "safe weight" guidelines for my height based on whomever it is that makes those guidelines. In fact, I believe that my goal will still give me room to lose another 10 lbs if I were so inclined.

Professional. This one is tougher, because I'd like to think that my professional future is based on my professional merits. The fact that I can develop great strategies, ask the right question, bring new ideas to the table ... but the reality is ... frankly, people make first impressions based on what you look like. And in the Big Company, there is definitely a correlation between someone's whole brand and their career path. And part of your brand is your outward appearance. Unfortunately, I'm not able to go out and buy a whole new designer label wardrobe, afford to get manicures or my hair highlighted on a regular basis. So what I can control is my weight. And while leadership will deny that personal appearance matters ... unfortunately the facts speak louder than the fluff. In fact, when discussing our recent reorg and changes in leadership, a friend of mine explained to another friend how it was not a surprise someone was put in their position because they perfectly "fit the mold."

Then it clicked. I totally understand those afflicted with eating disorders. Because, it's like by controlling what I eat, by losing the weight, I sort of feel like I am controlling my whole future. But I know I'm not. I know there are so many other things that will influence my path, my journey in life ... yet, I get why people become ill with anorexia and bulimia. The knowledge that you can have complete control results in complete loss of control. I think it's also why tormented celebrities become even more tormented and throw everything away.

So, by watching my calorie intake and amping up the physical activity, I'm attempting to lose the poundage the healthy way: 1 -2 lbs a week. Because ultimately, I want to be healthier and carrying around this much unhealthy weight is not good. And because I've had gestational diabetes, I'm always at a higher risk for Type II, so eliminating the fat will just help lower my risks. So attempting to do this in a slow and measured way will help ensure that it's sustainable. But damn ... it's going to be a long journey.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Too Many Meetings

That's all my life is right now. Meeting after meeting after meeting. I don't have time to eat, breathe, run to the bathroom. It's crazy. And due to my lack of post, I clearly don't have time to blog!!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Toxicity

I've sort of been at a loss for words lately by the amount of toxicity that I'm seeing oozing around the workplace environment. Granted, I'm younger than most people think I am, and I've been very careful to protect my age in the workplace. I'd rather people think I'm ten years older than I am than question how I've gained my wisdom at the age I may be. (Of course, I am hoping that my age ambiguity is due to my extreme old soul and maturism and not that I look ten years older than I am.)

Anyhow, back to my point. I have been amazed at the amount of bad attitudes. Even with my sour attitude, I've tried to hide it as best I can and only share with a few select people how I am actually feeling. But low and behold, Thursday I got a full on dose of toxicity. And we are talking monumental dose. I was amazed at the entitlement, the negative reflections, the downright nastiness I encountered throughout the day. Is this what the economy has down to the corporate work environment, return us to the toxicity of the 80's days of Working Girl and Bonfire of the Vanities? (Okay, Melanie Griffith is personally grateful for those days, because it gave her two breakout roles and launched her down a path that would one day find her in the arms of Antonia Banderas - good for you, Mel!!)

Alas, I was thinking it was a generational thing ... but I can't actually do that because there were people who were older than me. So, I will just close my eyes and hope for greener pastures and attitudes on Monday.

Monday, July 12, 2010

And So It Begins

Ever since K was born, we've gone back and forth on if we should get him into modeling, commercials, etc. Let's face it, the kid has a personality that is larger than life, and he's pretty darn cute. (And I can tell that O is the exact same way.) I've tended to shy away from using my son for commercial purposes (and working at the Big Company, I've had lots of opportunities, but none ever felt right.)

So, when a local yoga company put out a call for kids ages 2 -8 for a yoga book and flashcards, I thought, what the heck. Let's just try it. We dressed K up in a mash of modern Punky Brewster, per the requirements and stopped by the open audition. Since this was our first time, I really didn't know what to expect. We were also racing against the clock, because it took a little longer to get D out of the house and we had O's six-month check up.

The woman in front of us was talking up her daughter and the next thing I heard the woman say was, "And what agency is she with?" My pulse quickened. Agency? Seriously, our competition has an agency? I brushed it off and helped K go through doing the yoga routine and being videotaped and then his Polaroid (it really was an experience like the go-sees on America's Next Top Model.) D filled out the paperwork and then we were off. We were told we'd be notified if our child was selected.

On the way to the doctor's office, I gave K my very professional slant on that his being selected would depend on the demographics that needed to be filled from an age perspective, boys/girls ratio and the right diverse/ethnic mix they wanted for the project. I told him that since he was somewhat racially ambiguous, it could go either way for him and that we'd just have to wait and see.

Last night, we got the email sharing the names of the children selected ... halfway down the list there was his name. At first, I couldn't believe it, because let's be honest, we were going against kids with agencies. But, clearly his personality and the fact that he had the CEO laughing during his audition was a huge help. Now we have to get ready for his styling appointment on Wednesday, get his yoga pose assignments and help him master them and then pray that he listens the day of the shoot. It's a lot of pressure. I'm not sure D and I are ready for this kind of lifestyle ... well, it's just one shoot ... so I guess before we get all carried away, we should see how this one goes. But NYC might not be that far away.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

A Trip to Germany and Austria

Yes, it's time for my monthly Wine Club report. The hot summer nights of July had us transport ourselves to the land of Germany and Austria. Lands known for their refreshingly bright (and quite a bit sweet) whites.
My darling friend who hosted this evening did quite a bit of searching for some authentic, but still light German and Austrian fare. (Because as we all know, that is not exactly what the countries are known for when it comes to cuisine.)

Our appetizers (which included a very yummy vegetable dip combo and a cheesy bacon tart) were paired with two different white approaches. The first was the 2007 Helfrich Gewurztraminer Vin d'Alsace. Now that is a mouthful of a name. It wasn't my first Gewurz, so I knew what I was getting into as they almost sickly sweet liquid hit my lips. The aroma was floral and crisp, so it almost betrayed what would dance on your tongue. Not my favorite, but then again, I'm not a big fan of the super sweet wines. In fact, I found this one a bit cloying.

The second white we tried with our appetizers was a bit more my speed. The Lois Gruner Veltliner. This wasn't my introduction to the Austrian white. And according to many articles in Food & Wine, there's a lot of love - hate out there for this little treat. Personally, I really like the crisp, tartness of this wine and consider it a very good sip on a hot summer night. It's a good change of pace from the sweeter whites that tend to hail from this region, and one I highly recommend giving a try.

With dinner, a nice German brat and a delightful take on German potato salad (okay, not sure what's up this summer, but I've been trying a lot of variations of potato salads and enjoying them all ...) we opened our only red of the evening. As I mentioned, the area is more known for what it produced from white grapes, so we weren't sure what we were going to get with the Austrian red. If you're a fan of big, tanniny reds, the St. Laurent is not for you. This is a most easy, drinking red with the softest hit of tannins. It's strong berry taste almost hints at a tiny bit of chocolate for me. A great wine to drink at night without the need to pair with something to eat.


We ended the evening with a sweet pear tart that was the perfect pairing for our Deidesheimer Hofstuck Spatlese. Alas, I don't have a photo because I forgot my camera this time, and I could not find an image online. Which is a shame, the label was quite ornate and pretty. Normally, I'm not a huge fan of Rieslings. There are a few exceptions, and I can now add this one to the list. It was sweet, as they usually are, in fact, I would coin this one as being "sugarlicious." It was cool and thick and went very well with the ice cream and the tart. I don't know if it was a coincidence or not, but I thought it also had the same aroma as a pear, so perhaps that accounted for the wonderfully pairing.

My lesson learned, I think I'll be giving Austrian wines some more attention down the road ... and if I'm really in the mood for sweet ... hell, I might actually pick up a Riesling.

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Another Book Review

One of the pleasantries of vacation days is all the reading time. And so, I must give out another shout to an amazing book I just read and I want to share with you. It's Allison Winn Scotch's The Time of My Life. The book is all about the "what if's" you ask yourself when you're non-plussed with your current situation. It's all about wondering what would have happened if you'd stayed with the other guy. It's a fast read (I read it in two days) and if you have kids, it's even more relate-able because of her feelings toward her daughter.

In a lot of ways, it's parallel to my favorite movie Sliding Doors, in that in the end, what's supposed to happen, happens. And that tends to be my theory for life. What's supposed to happen will. The promo will come at the right time, new opportunities will magically appear, when I need that extra inspiration it arrives. So, maybe that's why I really liked this book. I found it very introspective. At times, I had to put it down just so I could do some self-reflection if I were in the same situation.

And it made me what to find a kick-arse masseuse.

Monday, July 05, 2010

The Blink of an Eye

We have now entered July. It's crazy. I can't believe we are more than halfway through the year. The year didn't start out exactly like I planned. I had thought I'd be ringing in the new year with a belly in my baby, not one that had just been out of the NICU for two days. I didn't know my job would change so dramatically and I'd be in constant reflection on what I want for the rest of my life. And time is just whipping by so quickly ... it's a good reminder to hold on and savor every moment.

That's why I relish extended holidays. Why I now understand why so many people at work save up their vacation time so they can take the last two weeks of December off every year. This weekend gave me lots of time with my family. And once again I was so amazed by the blessings I have in my two little men. K's intellect astounds me every day and I can't believe my little baby is a little  man. And O is defying all the parameters he can that surround being premature. He may not be reaching the milestones on the schedule in the baby books, but he's making every effort to reach the milestones when he's ready.

My  husband impressed me with his ability to join a complete stranger in a fishing tournament because he thought it was better to do so than leave the poor guy without a partner. And I think it was his way of getting a break from everything else and just zoning. While I didn't get as much sleep as I wanted, I did get to relax and invent new games to play with my sons that cause them to build amazing stories from their imagination. I got some sun and pool time. We tried ground Emu (pretty good, if I say so myself since I was the chef.) and I finished two books (woohoo four-hour car rides and the fact that D doesn't like my driving.)

All in all, it was a pleasant way to kick-start the second-half of the year. I've extended my holiday weekend an extra day so I can watch K play soccer, have lunch with a friend, go to the library and just enjoy one more day of bliss.