Elevators

I work on the 36th floor of my building. There are three elevator banks. The first elevator bank goes to floors 4 - 13, the second 13 - 26, my bank 27 - 37. In the mornings, I secretly pray that no one else gets on the elevator before the door closes. Sometimes, if a bunch of people get on it before I do, I patiently wait for the next elevator and do my prayer that no one else will come. I just hate it when my elevator ride takes 15 minutes in the morning.

At the end of the day, I once again enter a religious state and furiously pray that I will have an express ride down to the main floor. Someone once said that if you keep pressing the "close door" button, it will skip the floors and go stratight down. I tried it. It didn't work - and of course, the person who got on the elevator looked at me all funny, like what was I doing?

There is only thing that bothers me more than knowing I'll be on a long descent because the elevator stops on every floor because everyone else decides to leave work at the same time I do... It's the lazy, incompetent fools who only go up or down one story. We have stairs!!! Take the damn stairs for one flight!! Now, there are some exceptions - clearly, if you are on crutches, 9 months pregnant or otherwise physically unable to use the stairs you are exempt from my snide comments. The HR floors are also secure, so I totally understand if you get off on one of those floors, you had no choice - so you are forgiven. Everyone else -- NO EXCUSE!

I have been known to make a comment or two loudly when people act upon their laziness. "Oh, the stairs must be closed for repainting again." "Hmm, the stairwell must be blocked on their floor." Usually, I always have anyone else in the elevator agreeing with me. I have no shame, and I always say it when the elevator is still open - so that the offender can hear it.

I wish I worked on the 3rd floor - then I could just take the stairs all the time.