The Delicate Beauty of a Thank You Note

Sometimes, I think I may be stuck in the 18th century. When it comes to crazy etiquette-type things, manners and rituals. One of those items is the concept around the thank you note. I have very strong feels around the proper process, expectations and timing around a thank you note. This past year, we had five weddings on the schedule. The handling of their thank you notes has all been very different.

Now, D and I decided that we would ship gifts in advance of attending the wedding (wins all around for us and those who get the gift, really.) So, the thank you note has become even more important to me, because it helps ensure that the recipient actually received the gift. I spend money, I want to make sure that the gift is received.

So, here's the situation today. My lovely sister was married on November 26 ... no thank you card. (I don't even think she sent out thank you cards for her showers ... which is a whole separate issue, because we provided the thank you cards for her and they were addressed by the attendees!!!!) The last wedding of the year took place on December 11. Unfortunately, it was the same day as the big snowfall and we weren't able to get out of our driveway. But ... I thought, at least, I did have the gift shipped in advance. So, far ... no thank you. My fear is that they didn't receive the gift and my money disappeared in a black hole. But clearly, it's just not a priority.

Is it a generational thing in this day of twittering, text messaging and social networking? Is a handwritten thank you too much to expect? Should I consider my gift as payment for the food and costs that the couple invests in their wedding?

Maybe I'm just too old and crotchety ... I mean, even when I'm told that I don't need to write thank you notes for a work shower, I always did. I just feel like it's a small investment in time to show people your appreciation for all their support. Call me crazy.