Okay, I will be the first one to say that I am not necessarily the loudest person at the table. I'm an introvert and I like to observe, come back and provide recommendations. I need to process. I don't find much value in talking just to talk. Unfortunately, assertiveness and aggression are rewarded in corporate America. And I get. You want to make sure your voice is heard, that you are bringing your ideas to the table ... but do we have to bulldoze over everyone else to ensure that happens. Can we respect the fact that not everyone can provide an idea instantly and that some of us need to think about it before we have a POV. Not at the Big Company.
It's interesting, lately we've heard a lot from leaders about how they are disappointed that we think everyone needs to fit a specific mold to be successful at Big Company. That there is this prototype for the ideal employee. And so the leaders have stated they are going to be more focused on the end results and not the journey. Hell, we realize, we all take different paths, but if the end results deliver ... then who cares if you take the interstate or the scenic route?
When I got home tonight, D told me that his dad happened to be working on a project with some fellow folks from Big Company in a consulting capacity. One of the people mentioned they knew me ... and then proceeded to tell him that it would be great if he could coach me to be more aggressive. Now, he didn't disclose this persons name to D so that I wouldn't have any inappropriate animosity toward this person ... and they apparently know what my children look like because that's how they confirmed that I was the same person they both knew.
Of course, now, I'm trying to rack my brain on who this person could be because I would like them to give me the feedback directly. And without knowing what I have worked with this person on, or how they know me ... it's interesting feedback to give to my father-in-law. In fact, I think it is wildly inappropriate. He is in the scope of my personal world ... and how do they have the audacity to speak of my professional in that realm. They have no idea what my relationship is with my father-in-low and have stepped grossly out of bounds. D, of course, thinks I am blowing this completely out of proportion ... and says that he has told me this for a while, that I need to be more assertive with saying what I want at work ... and you know, they were probably just trying to help me.
BUT I'M AN ADULT ... and you just went to daddy to "counsel" me? I'm sorry, I know I'm flying off the handle on this one, but I am livid.I just can't believe it. I guess it's the risk you play in small city that people will talk about you. It just adds to my list of self-reflection lately. Do I need to go to an industry where I don't have to worry about people providing feedback about me to people outside the situation. Did this person ever give me the feedback directly.
So, I'm trying to determine next steps. I think I know what I'm going to do (besides calendar surf to see who in the hell could have possibly been meeting with my father-in-law). Who knows, maybe it will backfire, but maybe it will show that I can be assertive, I just think it's a waste of energy being assertive when it's not necessary.
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